Hello my sweet Wildlings. I hope your day was filled with wonderment and awe.

I’m sitting here just now, trying to wind down from a typical work day. I also kind of forgot how bad apple juice tastes just after having eaten some coffee, but that one’s on me.

When I first got home I turned on my tiny little tree. The lights have different settings. Usually I make them blink. Tonight I just let it be on.

I didn’t stay in the room to look at them, but can see the glow of them in the hallway as I walk past. Babysteps towards enjoyment I suppose.

You’ll notice a lack of “normal” ornaments. I have a lot of butterfly picks on it. And you can’t really see them well, but there are some semi-rustic looking metal stars. They are also lights by I didn’t turn them on. Towards the right you’ll see a little green alien dude. Front and center a rocking-horse zebra, and at the bottom left is Zombie Merle from The Walking Dead (my husband put that one on there..)

I wanted to keep it a more rustic and feral goblincore vibe, but in the end the tree was really too small. And I think, maybe, I would like a tree full of ornaments handmade by friends and family. Of course I’d have to get my friends and family to actually make and give me ornaments, but I guess that will be a next year project.

But, if you notice one thing, look at the top of my little tree.

There is not a star or an angel at the top of it, but a cardinal in the spot of honor.

Why a cardinal? The bird in and of itself has no special meaning to me. Some people say that seeing a cardinal means you are being visited by a loved one from heaven, but I never held that belief. And the only memory involving real cardinals is when my best friend and I were going for a walk and found a dead cardinal by the side of the road and she insisted we give it a proper burial, so we took some sticks and dug it a shallow grave in the ditch beside the road where we were walking.

But I have a memory of another red bird on another Christmas tree. It might be a false memory, since my brain is a tricky, tricky thing, but false or not, it is how I remember it.

I don’t remember very many of my childhood Christmas trees. I do remember having them, just not any tree in particular (except for the last one I remember having in the house, but that’s another story). But when I think of childhood Christmas trees, I think of a little red bird and how I wanted it at the top of the tree when we put the ornaments on. It could possibly have been a cardinal itself. I don’t remember that. Just that it was a little red bird.

I don’t remember if we had a star or an angel or not, maybe one of my brothers could tell me, but I do remember how I wanted that little red bird at the top of the tree. I coudln’t tell you now why I so badly wanted that little fella up at the top, but I did.

So, when I decided to get my little tree I knew I was going to get a little red bird to go on top of it. And, being the time of year that it is, the most prevalent little red bird you’re going to find is a cardinal.

(On a side note, did you know that only the male cardinals are the iconic red and black? But on most cardinal related holiday cards and decor you only ever see two red cardinals. Sometimes, but rarely, there will be one of the duller brown females, but usually it is two male cardinals. I’d never thought of that before, but a random tik-tok video made me aware of it and if I had known I’d be writing this post I would have saved the link for it.)

So, in a fit of nostalgia, I have a little red cardinal at the top of my little goblinesque tree. And if I do upsize next year to fit more odd ornaments, I’ll probably put it at the top of that tree too.

Because, that is where my little red bird belongs.

If you have a holiday tree, what is at the top of your tree?
Leave me a comment and let me know!